2. Failure to Do the Dishes
Matthew Fray wrote an excellent essay titled "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink." He recalls how he used to abandon his mess for his wife to tidy up. He thought his wife was unreasonable while they were married. He got the impression that she was trying to make him care as much about a tidy house as she did. But it wasn't until after their divorce that he understood his actions reflected a complete lack of regard for her. “She didn't want to be my mother,” says the narrator. My wife wanted to be my partner, and she expected me to use all of my skills and learning talents to manage the details of our lives and home.”
I strongly advise you to read that essay. Matt discusses his attitude as well as that of his wife. When we don't grasp the other person's point of view, we get into arguments. Frequently, it isn't even about the dishes. It all boils down to a sense of disdain and a lack of love. “The wife is adamant about not divorcing her husband because he keeps used drinking cups next to the sink. Instead, she wants to divorce him because she believes he doesn't respect or appreciate her, implying that he doesn't love her and that she can't rely on him as a permanent partner.”
